Making Learning Fun

My lovely parents decided some months ago to downsize to a cottage in the countryside. This process involved a lot of clearing out of crap, a lot of it belonging to me and much to my dismay, my parents visited in February with a completely unwelcome present in the form of a big plastic box full of crap that I didn't want. Frenchie, sensing my despair, lovingly stored it under the stairs where we wouldn't have to look at it and could forget that it existed. 

Never one to run from my fears, however, I took it upon myself this holiday to clear out said plastic box and have discovered that this is no mere plastic box, but a vehicle of discovery, a metaphor for my journey from student to teacher-hood.  Not only is this box all the proof you will ever need that I was destined to be a teacher, it is also a pretty darn interesting comparison (if you're interested in this sort of thing) between 'in my day' and 'kids nowadays'. 

I mean, just look - I wrote this when I was ten years old! 

I admit that I'm precocious and taken to flights of fancy, but I went to a local comprehensive primary school in Luton (Luton!) and was not considered the most intelligent child in my year group so this can only be considered the standard of an 'above average' child.  What fascinates me most is not the character voice (have totally embodied a WW2 evacuee) or the knowledge of nature ('little white barn owl') or even the frankly, quite impressive vocabulary choice ('nuzzles', 'veils', 'gurgle') but the accuracy in the grammar and punctuation! Omg.  My spelling is entirely correct, I comma splice about once and my sentence construction is pretty darn advanced.  I would die to have children writing like this at GCSE.  Urgh. Has the state of the nation really slumped so far?

Obviously I'm an English teacher now so we'd presume that I've always been sort of okay at writing and stuff, but look - I was one of those children that Bridget Clay loves: I kept my Maths book super neat and put all the numbers in the right boxes and got lots of ticks!

I remember hating Maths at school, and also being a complete pain with an attitude problem, something that shines through in this stroke-of-genius 'Investigetion' written for who knows what reason.

What is more than slightly shameful is the fact that whilst I clearly thought I was being completely rebellious in my referencing of drunken puking and raves, painting myself as one of those smug teenage girls you want to give a good slapping for having such a vile attitude to your subject, all of the randomly selected names in the Investigation are either from Terry Pratchett's Discworld Series, with which I was obsessed at the time, the Goon Show (generally considered 'for grandpas') and my top ten baby names at the time. Hmm. Clearly not as sassy as I perceived myself to be. I bet Mrs Newman had a hoot marking this. 

My clear forte, though, was not for elaborately staged murder mystery Maths Investigations but diagrammatic drawings and the illustration of learning. I still do love a good symbol or inspiring image on a PowerPoint that makes learning that bit more fun. I do spend hours trawling the Internet for grammar cartoons to entertain my students through those tedious but vital semi-colon instructionals.  Check out these actual works of art:

WOW. This one is so complex I don't even know what it means but it is in the shape of a St. George cross. Was that intentional?

Clearly, the only time I really engaged in Science was when I got to write in gold pen and vividly portray plaque acid decay. 

Through these diagrams I have discovered my early feminist penchant:

Evidently post-feminist: if you want to be a medieval weaver, girl, that is totally your right. You are no less a woman than Joan of Arc (though she is also very awesome and has a horse and a banner). 

I am also in love with the beauty of these ovaries. 

Hahahahaha!  Goodness!

Clearly, though, either my personal obsession at the time, or the obsession of the curriculum, was volcanoes. I seemed to draw a lot of volcanoes through years 7-9 and somehow I still remember feeling dazed when a volcano question came up in my Geography SATS. Why? I was clearly the volcano diagram bomb. 

I should release a coffee table book of illustrations entitled, 'Volcanic Variations'. 

So, what has this Spring cleaning journey taught me?  Well, parents you are amazing - my cultural capital wipes the floor of every child I have ever taught ever. School, you trained me well in the arts of neatness and volcano drawing and dealt with my stuck up precocity like a trooper: thanks. I have always clearly loved learning, even when I have pretended not to and thus, my job is not just a job, it is my destiny. I am absolutely going to crack down on neatness in my students' exercise books. 

Also, I showed such promise: why the heck am I not a world famous writer by now? I wrote rings around JK Rowling when I was ten!